A very happy Diwali everyone!
On this festive occasion, let’s have a little fun. So please, Shri Narottam Mishra, Honorable Minister of the Interior of Madhya Pradesh, please do not be offended and ask for the removal of this article, otherwise …
Here we are.
Have you ever seen a bra in an Indian TV commercial? Seriously. This viewer could hardly believe her eyes when Daisy Dee first appeared during a commercial break on a news channel; she must have given them a hard blow when Lovable Essensuals – muwah – dared to bar the skin a little a few days later.
Has this ever happened before?
No I can not.
Hooray! A first.
And before anyone has the cute idea of ââbanning them, we’d like to remind them that advertisements for men’s underwear adorn our TV screens – and our movie stars – all the time.
Those who create these TVCs think there is something manly about men’s underwear – otherwise why would Amul call them Macho Sporto? In TV commercials, actor Rashmika Mandanna does everything as a young yoga teacher to twist and transform actor Vicky Kaushal by revealing the waistband – just the waistband – of her Macho Sporto briefs. Sigh.
Dollar Big Boss becomes a sign of masculinity when actor Akshay Kumar walks past a stern female airport security officer, and in response to his question, “Dollar kahan hai? ‘ reveals what is hiding under his pants and declares: “Dollar yahan hai‘. ‘Adjust hai, boss, she purrs, untangling her hair. Don’t ask what he’s saying …
Actor Varun Dhawan takes off his jacket to display six rippling bundles and briefs – enough for his mate to turn her lustful gaze on him.
Actors are, of course, the favorite models in TVC. They sell you anything and everything – it’s hard to tell who sells you the most, Akshay Kumar or Amitabh Bachchan. The latter promotes detergent powder, warm underwear (Lux Inferno, please), salty snacks, jewelry, paan masala brands and anything else you can swallow, wear or that money can buy.
Speaking of paan masala products and brands: they attract the talents and tastes of top Bollywood actors – aside from Big B, there’s Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan, Ajay Devgn, Ranveer Singh (recreating a Kabhi Khushi Kabhie gha m moment with Amitabh), Hrithik Roshan as well as Tiger Shroff.
Very strange on their part, don’t you think, given that they know that such objects are harmful to health – and to their images. What’s the point of building bulging muscles just to reach for a fragile bundle of you-know-what and push it back?
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We are not sold
Our lovely and charming actresses also sell us anything they can get their hands on – but not fairness creams. Fortunately, this product is being advertised less than before – why doesn’t Narottam Mishra threaten the companies that produce them with dire consequences?
Less fairness creams maybe, but notice how fair – very, very fair – the overwhelming majority of those who model products in TVCs. You barely see the “blue” complexions or the dark-skinned individuals and when you do, it may be to satirize them.
Take the Real Activ Tender Coconut Water TV commercial: it stereotypes South India, in terms of outfit, accent and skin color. Very reprehensible.
May we please see real dark skinned people like us and aim for some inclusion – you know, sabka saath, sabka skin?
Meanwhile, Deepika Padukone wants to paint your walls, and Spotify your listening pleasure; Anushka Sharma wants to color your hair (like Saif Ali Khan); Hema Malini and Madhuri Dixit are in a battle royale over whether you should drink Kent RO or Aquaguard water ‘paani ka doctor’; Alia Bhatt orders a mattress you can sleep on – she also joins Aamir Khan in a series of funny insurance announcements and Kareena Kapoor invites you to check out Netmeds for your medical supplies.
This is just a sample of available TV channels – the rise of advertising suggests that economic activity is picking up, spending is no longer thrifty, and Bollywood actors are in high demand.
The other professionals making the cup are the cricketers – despite India’s poor outings in Dubai in the T20 World Cup. Mentor Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Captain Virat Kohli lead the team which includes Rohit Sharma, Jasprit Bumrah, Rishabh Pant, Hardik Pandya, KL Rahul and others. Meanwhile, Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) Chairman Sourav Ganguly is promoting MyCircle 11, a fantastic game of cricket and Fortune rice bran oil for good cardio – he has recently had heart surgery, so maybe that’s why.
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The TVCs that we can ban
Something we want banned from our sights? Can this be the TVCs for Yogi Adityanath and Arvind Kejriwal? The chief ministers of Uttar Pradesh and Delhi, respectively, are locked in a publicity war – in addition to spending millions of dollars on their individual campaigns that have been running and running. Adityanath promotes his accomplishments as CM while Kejriwal’s constant appearances make him the second most familiar CM face on TV – I wonder if that’s the point.
It also sells as a deshbhakt, with `Jai Hind. Bharat Mata ki Jai ‘at the end of his homilies.
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Finally, a prize for the most absurd spectacle on screen.
First, images from across the country of people sitting in neat rows with radios in front of them, apparently obediently listening to Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s “Mann ki Baat”. Is it the television?
Second, DD Sports. The national broadcaster cannot broadcast the T20 World Cup since the broadcast rights belong to Star sports, corn not wanting to deprive its loyal viewers of the competition, he had Einstein’s brilliant idea to broadcast a live radio commentary from India vs New Zealand on Sunday.
Visualize the spectacle: We saw three gentlemen, cramped behind a table, watching something out of our line of sight – presumably a television screen. One scored points, while the other two gave us Hindi and fluent English ‘aankhon dekha haal‘Gambling. Is it television, is it radio, is it even cricket?
Opinions are personal.
(Edited by Prashant)
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